So a couple of weeks ago my Boss and the Owner of the company I work for came to me and told that they might have to lay me off. When I asked what their timeframe was, they said it might be weeks before they would need to lay me off.
After taking a couple of days to process it, I came to grips with my situation. I knew I had to start looking for a job like I didn’t have a one right now. So the resumes went out.
It was really strange how I found my first lead. We were over at a friend’s house watching their kids so they could enjoy a Valentine’s Day date. When they got back my friend went on Craig’s List and found a listing for a programming job. I sent my resume to them that Monday. I got called on Tuesday and had a phone interview, followed by a face-to-face interview the following Tuesday. Then I had another interview on Friday, followed by another face-to-face interview on Monday.
Both times I went to the face-to-face interviews a certain song played on the radio. I don’t know if you believe in coincidences or omens, and this song is very popular right now. The song is by a group named Hillsong and it’s called ‘Salvation is Here.’ It was always around the second verse/chorus which goes something like:
God above all the world in motion
God above all my hopes and fears
I don't care what the world throws at me now
It's gonna be alright
'Cause I know my God saved the day
And I know His word never fails
And I know my God made a way for me
(It’s gonna be all right)
I took it literally for my situation. God would save the day. God’s word would never fail. God was going to make a way for me. It’s gonna be alright.
Today, I received a formal offer from them to go to work for them. I don’t know that I would have thought to look on Craig’s List myself. For as geeky as I am, I was trying things like Monster and LinkedIn. When I think of all the crazy coincidences that had to happen for Anna and I to even meet the friends whose house we were at, much less for us to be there on the particular night that the job offer would be on Craig’s List, it just makes me chuckle. True story, the first night our friends invited us over, I had a social function at work that I was supposed to be at. I went for the first half hour or so and then my Wife came and picked me up and we drove over to our friend’s house. I almost didn’t go. That night we really hit it off, and we’ve become very good friends with them ever since.
You know back in June, I felt like God was telling me to stay put, and when the news of layoffs came, I was really confused. Why would God have told me to stay put if it was going to lead to layoffs. Now I can see that He was setting up the timing for me to find this new position.
I’ve learned a lot about myself during these weeks that I’ve been waiting for the news of the layoffs come down. I’ve learned that part of why I follow God is that I’m after the blessings the God. I do my part by being a good little Christian and He does His part by keeping me free of trouble. What I’ve learned is that is not the depth of relationship God wants. He wants me to follow Him because of what He DID for me at the Cross, not what He WILL DO for me.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Did It Work?
I had a conversation with a friend today that really got me thinking. I hope if he sees this, he won’t think I’m calling him out but he said something that really stuck in my craw. If you’ve been reading the blog you know I’ve been struggling with a job situation and I asked my friends for referrals and to start praying for me. Today, I just wanted to say thanks to one of my friends, who has been praying for me.
He asked me ‘did it work?’
What an odd question. It makes God sound like some genie in a bottle. You pray and rub the bottle and hope the genie grants your wish. That’s not praying, it’s wishing. It’s not Christianity, it’s Disney (if you wish upon a star…..makes no difference who you are…..)
Prayer ALWAYS works, always. Prayer changes the one doing the praying, not the one being prayed to. Do we really think we have to convince God to move on our behalf? Do we think he lacks the power to intervene in our situation? The Bible says He knows our needs before we even ask. Praying gets our minds on God and his attributes: His power, His provision, and His love for us.
I know sometimes we ask God for something in prayer and whatever we ask for is not realized in reality. My wife and I have experienced this in the past couple of months. We prayed and did everything we thought we should. Still God’s answer was ‘not right now’. We don’t understand it. Sometimes God tells us ‘No’ or ‘Wait’ because that’s really what is best for our long-term benefit. I know it’s hard sometimes I have to remember to pray like He taught me, ‘not my will, but Yours be done.’ God moves according to His will and His timing not ours.
He asked me ‘did it work?’
What an odd question. It makes God sound like some genie in a bottle. You pray and rub the bottle and hope the genie grants your wish. That’s not praying, it’s wishing. It’s not Christianity, it’s Disney (if you wish upon a star…..makes no difference who you are…..)
Prayer ALWAYS works, always. Prayer changes the one doing the praying, not the one being prayed to. Do we really think we have to convince God to move on our behalf? Do we think he lacks the power to intervene in our situation? The Bible says He knows our needs before we even ask. Praying gets our minds on God and his attributes: His power, His provision, and His love for us.
I know sometimes we ask God for something in prayer and whatever we ask for is not realized in reality. My wife and I have experienced this in the past couple of months. We prayed and did everything we thought we should. Still God’s answer was ‘not right now’. We don’t understand it. Sometimes God tells us ‘No’ or ‘Wait’ because that’s really what is best for our long-term benefit. I know it’s hard sometimes I have to remember to pray like He taught me, ‘not my will, but Yours be done.’ God moves according to His will and His timing not ours.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Uriah the Hittite
You might remember Uriah the Hittite, or if you don't remember him, you might remember his wife, a lady named Bathsheba. Yeah, that Bathsheba. The one that David got into all his trouble with. To try to cover his tracks, David decides to get Uriah killed off in battle. It's your classic John kills Jack to get Jane kind of story.
But I've recently learned something that put a bit of twist on the Uriah-Bathsheba-David love triangle for me. I was reading in 1 Chronicles and discovered that Uriah was part of a group called David's 30 Mighty Men. These were David's private bodyguards and his best and most trusted fighters.
So when David hatches his scheme to get Uriah killed off, it isn't some random Joe he's killing. See I always figured Uriah was just that. Some random Joe who made a really bad choice for the lot he built his house on. A lot with a great view of the Palace balcony. He probably got that lot because he was on of the Thirty.
David's sin would have been bad enough if Uriah was just the random Joe I always thought he was, but knowing that Uriah was much more than that puts David's murder of Uriah in a new light for me. The act now is more heinous, more despicable, more vile. David was one cold-hearted dude.
Yet, knowing this detail makes God's forgiveness of David more gracious, and more awesome. If God could forgive David for this cold blooded act of murder against a trusted friend, how much more can he forgive all the mistakes and sins of my life.
But I've recently learned something that put a bit of twist on the Uriah-Bathsheba-David love triangle for me. I was reading in 1 Chronicles and discovered that Uriah was part of a group called David's 30 Mighty Men. These were David's private bodyguards and his best and most trusted fighters.
So when David hatches his scheme to get Uriah killed off, it isn't some random Joe he's killing. See I always figured Uriah was just that. Some random Joe who made a really bad choice for the lot he built his house on. A lot with a great view of the Palace balcony. He probably got that lot because he was on of the Thirty.
David's sin would have been bad enough if Uriah was just the random Joe I always thought he was, but knowing that Uriah was much more than that puts David's murder of Uriah in a new light for me. The act now is more heinous, more despicable, more vile. David was one cold-hearted dude.
Yet, knowing this detail makes God's forgiveness of David more gracious, and more awesome. If God could forgive David for this cold blooded act of murder against a trusted friend, how much more can he forgive all the mistakes and sins of my life.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Snow Days
Over the weekend of February 12th Charleston saw snow for the first time in 10 years. The last time we saw snow was the day after we brought my Daughter home from the hospital. So technically, she had seen snow before, she hadn't experienced it.
It started snowing around 7 and by 8 there was a nice layer of snow on the ground. We bundled up and went outside. We had a snowball fight, and made a small snowman. Then right before we went inside my Daughter plopped on the ground and made a snow angel. We went inside and my Wife made us some Hot Chocolate.
It was supposed to stop snowing in the wee hours of the morning, and we weren't sure how quickly the snow would melt. So before we put our daughter to bed we warned her the snow might be gone in the morning. We checked before we turned in for the night and the blanket of snow was intact. I was amazing by how bright it was. It look almost like dusk despite the fact it was getting close to midnight.
The next morning, my Daugheter comes tearing into our bedroom at 7am announcing loudly that the snow was still there. But we could see it was already falling out of the trees from melting. So we bundled up again and headed out into the snow. Another snowball fight ensued. Then my Daughter went over to a neighbor's house to play with their young sons. I started on a larger snowman and then my Daughter came back over to help me finish it. Like the night before, my Daughter made a snow angel before we headed back into the warm house.
But before we went in, we did what all good Southerns do when it snows. We made one last snowball and took inside and stuck it in the freezer.
We looked at everyones snow pictures on Facebook and saw everyone's snowman. I told my Wife that if anyone had a nicer looking snowman than ours, it just meant they were a transplant from up north or possibly Ohio.
It started snowing around 7 and by 8 there was a nice layer of snow on the ground. We bundled up and went outside. We had a snowball fight, and made a small snowman. Then right before we went inside my Daughter plopped on the ground and made a snow angel. We went inside and my Wife made us some Hot Chocolate.
It was supposed to stop snowing in the wee hours of the morning, and we weren't sure how quickly the snow would melt. So before we put our daughter to bed we warned her the snow might be gone in the morning. We checked before we turned in for the night and the blanket of snow was intact. I was amazing by how bright it was. It look almost like dusk despite the fact it was getting close to midnight.
The next morning, my Daugheter comes tearing into our bedroom at 7am announcing loudly that the snow was still there. But we could see it was already falling out of the trees from melting. So we bundled up again and headed out into the snow. Another snowball fight ensued. Then my Daughter went over to a neighbor's house to play with their young sons. I started on a larger snowman and then my Daughter came back over to help me finish it. Like the night before, my Daughter made a snow angel before we headed back into the warm house.
But before we went in, we did what all good Southerns do when it snows. We made one last snowball and took inside and stuck it in the freezer.
We looked at everyones snow pictures on Facebook and saw everyone's snowman. I told my Wife that if anyone had a nicer looking snowman than ours, it just meant they were a transplant from up north or possibly Ohio.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Physical Jesus or Spirit of God
The disciples had the physical Jesus with them for 3 and a half years. What an incredible privilege. Yes, as he was preparing to leave them, he made a curious statement. It's a verse I've read many times, but I never really thought about like I did tonight.
Jesus said it would be better for them if he left and allowed the Holy Spirit to come. Jesus believed the Disciples would be better off with the Holy Spirit rather than his physical presence with them.
I've often thought that, given the choice, it would be much better to have the physical Jesus here with me. I could talk to Him, eat with Him, learn from Him, and always get perfect, loving advice for my life and the decisions I have to make.
Yet, here is Jesus saying, that I'm better off with the invisible Holy Spirit. I find that hard to believe. Yet my options are believing it, because it is what Jesus said or not believing it because I haven't experienced learning from the Holy Spirit and seeing the unmistakable evidence of His power in my life. I have much to learn. But it isn't head knowledge I need, it's something more supernatural.
Jesus said it would be better for them if he left and allowed the Holy Spirit to come. Jesus believed the Disciples would be better off with the Holy Spirit rather than his physical presence with them.
I've often thought that, given the choice, it would be much better to have the physical Jesus here with me. I could talk to Him, eat with Him, learn from Him, and always get perfect, loving advice for my life and the decisions I have to make.
Yet, here is Jesus saying, that I'm better off with the invisible Holy Spirit. I find that hard to believe. Yet my options are believing it, because it is what Jesus said or not believing it because I haven't experienced learning from the Holy Spirit and seeing the unmistakable evidence of His power in my life. I have much to learn. But it isn't head knowledge I need, it's something more supernatural.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Long Thoughts (Lent)
My Pastor taught us last night that we get the word Lent from a German word for long or lengthening. So my Long thoughts are Lent thoughts.
My Pastor really messed up my ideas for Lent. I had always been taught that Lent was the time when you gave something up. It was supposed to be something hard to give up. I had this great plan in mind to give up Caffeine because that seemed like something sufficiently difficult to give up.
Then my Pastor puts this idea of replacing in my head. We replace what we give up with something for God. For instance, replace your morning latte and give the money you would have spent on that to missions, or give up watching your favorite sitcom and replace it with time praying. Caffeine doesn't replace well. I'll still be buying drinks, just ones without caffeine in them. Caffeine doesn’t really open up any time in my schedule. So I don’t think Caffeine will work well, but I’m still going to try to avoid it as a personal challenge during the next 40 days.
My next thought was to go with the Latte example and save my Latte money to give to our Coffee Bar at Crosstowne, which supports a couple of kids through World Vision. But giving up a couple of Lattes and giving the money over doesn’t seem like a big enough deal. I really need to do something more to fulfill the obligation of Lent.
So I started asking myself, what would be enough to make me feel like I had gotten out of Lent what God intended me to. What would be sufficient, what would be enough? That’s when it struck me. I saw Lent as fulfilling a Christian obligation. It was just another thing that good Christians do and sense I’m a good Christian, it would be another thing that I would do. My Pastor had taught us that we didn’t observe Lent to get Jesus to like us more. He already likes us more than we can know or even imagine. But I still fell into that thinking like I had to do something over Lent to keep in good standing.
But I was still unsatisfied by my choice. I know for some people that would be enough, and a major accomplishment. Technically it would allow me to say, ‘yes, I’ve observed the season of Lent’ as a good and proper Christian should.
It’s just that where I am in my Christian walk, I feel like God wants to challenge me. I could do the give up the Latte and give the money without breaking a sweat. It’s not that I feel like I’m better than other people. I don’t.
So I began to really think about my life. What were the areas that were hindering God and me? It didn’t take long to come to my gaming habit. It’s not that I sacrifice time with God to game. I don’t. I spend time with God before I game. No, the problem I have is that I play the game when I’m not playing the game. I think about the game constantly. I’m reading about the game, or planning strategies in my head. I’m talking to friends about the game. Over half of my Internet bookmarks are sites that talk about the game. So I’ve decided to step away from those for a while. I’m still going to play the game, that doesn’t seem to be a big deal. But once I’m done playing, I’m done playing. I’m going to stay off the sites about the game, and I’m going to “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5b
Then I realized that this is going to be much more than a Lent thing. This is not going to end at Easter. Taking every thought and making it obedient to Christ is going to be an ongoing part of my walk, and then time of Lent will simply be a training ground for it.
My Pastor really messed up my ideas for Lent. I had always been taught that Lent was the time when you gave something up. It was supposed to be something hard to give up. I had this great plan in mind to give up Caffeine because that seemed like something sufficiently difficult to give up.
Then my Pastor puts this idea of replacing in my head. We replace what we give up with something for God. For instance, replace your morning latte and give the money you would have spent on that to missions, or give up watching your favorite sitcom and replace it with time praying. Caffeine doesn't replace well. I'll still be buying drinks, just ones without caffeine in them. Caffeine doesn’t really open up any time in my schedule. So I don’t think Caffeine will work well, but I’m still going to try to avoid it as a personal challenge during the next 40 days.
My next thought was to go with the Latte example and save my Latte money to give to our Coffee Bar at Crosstowne, which supports a couple of kids through World Vision. But giving up a couple of Lattes and giving the money over doesn’t seem like a big enough deal. I really need to do something more to fulfill the obligation of Lent.
So I started asking myself, what would be enough to make me feel like I had gotten out of Lent what God intended me to. What would be sufficient, what would be enough? That’s when it struck me. I saw Lent as fulfilling a Christian obligation. It was just another thing that good Christians do and sense I’m a good Christian, it would be another thing that I would do. My Pastor had taught us that we didn’t observe Lent to get Jesus to like us more. He already likes us more than we can know or even imagine. But I still fell into that thinking like I had to do something over Lent to keep in good standing.
But I was still unsatisfied by my choice. I know for some people that would be enough, and a major accomplishment. Technically it would allow me to say, ‘yes, I’ve observed the season of Lent’ as a good and proper Christian should.
It’s just that where I am in my Christian walk, I feel like God wants to challenge me. I could do the give up the Latte and give the money without breaking a sweat. It’s not that I feel like I’m better than other people. I don’t.
So I began to really think about my life. What were the areas that were hindering God and me? It didn’t take long to come to my gaming habit. It’s not that I sacrifice time with God to game. I don’t. I spend time with God before I game. No, the problem I have is that I play the game when I’m not playing the game. I think about the game constantly. I’m reading about the game, or planning strategies in my head. I’m talking to friends about the game. Over half of my Internet bookmarks are sites that talk about the game. So I’ve decided to step away from those for a while. I’m still going to play the game, that doesn’t seem to be a big deal. But once I’m done playing, I’m done playing. I’m going to stay off the sites about the game, and I’m going to “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5b
Then I realized that this is going to be much more than a Lent thing. This is not going to end at Easter. Taking every thought and making it obedient to Christ is going to be an ongoing part of my walk, and then time of Lent will simply be a training ground for it.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Congratulations Saints
You might have heard a football game was played last night. Congratulations to the Saints and their fans. I hope one day my Panthers allow me to feel how all Saints fans must feel this morning.
The leader of the Saints is Drew Bress, a quarterback has been told his whole life he's too short to play the position. He was dumped by his old team and signed with the Saints four years ago. This interview with Drew Brees may give some insight into the character of the man who led his team to winning the Super Bowl.
The leader of the Saints is Drew Bress, a quarterback has been told his whole life he's too short to play the position. He was dumped by his old team and signed with the Saints four years ago. This interview with Drew Brees may give some insight into the character of the man who led his team to winning the Super Bowl.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Jesus = Michael?
So I was reading "Forgotten God" and the author talked about an encounter he had with a couple of Jehovah's Witnesses.
He told them he was offended because they believed that Jesus and Michael the Archangel where the same person. He held a much higher view of Jesus.
They explained to him that yes, they did believe that Jesus and Michael were the same person, and that he was the one and only Archangel. They do not seem to accept the Deity of Christ.
The author pointed them to Daniel 10:13 where Michael is called 'one of the princes'. It's pretty clear he's not the only one. The Witnesses had not seen that and promised to take a new look at what they had been taught.
I love having little nuggets like that to challenge people in what they believe ( and I'm sure non Christians have plenty of challenging little nuggets as well). I doubt my encounter would end as well. The author I'm reading is much more well read and knows the Bible much better than I do.
But he presents and interesting question for believers and non-believers alike. If we simply read the Bible without the preconceived notions of what we've been taught previously, would we believe what we believe?
He told them he was offended because they believed that Jesus and Michael the Archangel where the same person. He held a much higher view of Jesus.
They explained to him that yes, they did believe that Jesus and Michael were the same person, and that he was the one and only Archangel. They do not seem to accept the Deity of Christ.
The author pointed them to Daniel 10:13 where Michael is called 'one of the princes'. It's pretty clear he's not the only one. The Witnesses had not seen that and promised to take a new look at what they had been taught.
I love having little nuggets like that to challenge people in what they believe ( and I'm sure non Christians have plenty of challenging little nuggets as well). I doubt my encounter would end as well. The author I'm reading is much more well read and knows the Bible much better than I do.
But he presents and interesting question for believers and non-believers alike. If we simply read the Bible without the preconceived notions of what we've been taught previously, would we believe what we believe?
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Control, Safety and Lack of Suffering
My Pastor recommended a book called "Forgotten God" which I've started reading. I'm going to use the blog record my thoughts, feelings and experiences after I read each part. Since the book claims to change a person, I want to record the journey.
As I started to read the book, I immediately got nervous about where my Pastor is planning to take our Church. The book is about the power and presence of the Holy Spirit, and it's a subject that makes me a little nervous. I was raised in a denomination where the Holy Spirit wasn't talked about much and His Power was something reserved for Bible characters.
I'm curious how the author with deal with counterfeits who try to use the power of the Spirit for their own ends.
What struck me the most about the first part of the book was when he talked about becoming a person who doesn't talk much, but people around you can see the power and presence of the Holy Spirit moving in your life.
I knew as soon as I read it, that was the kind of life I wanted. I talk way too much about what I'm doing and what I want to do or am planning to do. I'd much rather be the kind of man described in the book. One who doesn't talk very much, but everyone around me can see the power and presence of the Spirit in my life.
And I've been challenged right off bat. He talks about Christians who wants a life characterized by control, safety and a lack of suffering. That is 100% who I am. The idea of giving that up is frankly quite scary.
This is going to be an interesting read.
As I started to read the book, I immediately got nervous about where my Pastor is planning to take our Church. The book is about the power and presence of the Holy Spirit, and it's a subject that makes me a little nervous. I was raised in a denomination where the Holy Spirit wasn't talked about much and His Power was something reserved for Bible characters.
I'm curious how the author with deal with counterfeits who try to use the power of the Spirit for their own ends.
What struck me the most about the first part of the book was when he talked about becoming a person who doesn't talk much, but people around you can see the power and presence of the Holy Spirit moving in your life.
I knew as soon as I read it, that was the kind of life I wanted. I talk way too much about what I'm doing and what I want to do or am planning to do. I'd much rather be the kind of man described in the book. One who doesn't talk very much, but everyone around me can see the power and presence of the Spirit in my life.
And I've been challenged right off bat. He talks about Christians who wants a life characterized by control, safety and a lack of suffering. That is 100% who I am. The idea of giving that up is frankly quite scary.
This is going to be an interesting read.
Monday, February 1, 2010
A Shot Across the Bow
2010 has gotten off to a real rough start. First my wife lost her job, then she went through some medical stuff that she is just now getting over.
She still hasn't found work yet, but we are looking at having to Home School so she's only looking for something that would last until Summer is over and we start Home Schooling.
But today, 2010 took another turn for the worse. The co-Owner of my company brought me into his office and let me know that the company is struggling. We lost our biggest account last year, and their contract was up at the end of 2009. January was our first month without them and it showed as the company lost a lot of money.
Back in June of 2009 He had told me that we were losing the account and that we had 6 months to replace that income. Over those 6 months we picked up 3 new customers, and I thought they had said those 3 customers would provide enough income to cover our expenses for 2010. But they just aren't paying enough yet. Back then he told me that he didn't want me to start looking for a new job, but he would understand if I did. I prayed about it and really got the sense that God wanted me to stay right where I was. It was different things. Something said in the sermon one week, something in my daily devotional magazine another. So I didn't even start looking.
Today, the co-Owner told me that he thought I should start looking for a new job. He wasn't laying me off, but they might only be able to keep me on another 2 to 3 weeks. He said that if he was me, I would want him to tell me. The co-Owner really tries to treat his people good. He also told me that if they had to lay me off, I'd be one of the first people they would want to bring back.
The other co-Owner for our Company is going to be going to our 3 accounts and try to renegotiate our contracts to get more money. He also has the option of tapping his personal funds to get the business going until we can get the bonuses the contracts call for. We work different from most consulting shops. We get very small fix fees but get paid bonuses when our customers see results. We don't get paid until our customers have actual bottom line results from our work. Crazy notion, I know.
I'm having a hard time dealing with this. My wife and I tithe. We support other ministries beyond our tithe, and we volunteer our time to help out in various places in the Church. I thought that meant we would be spared having to go through something like this. I feel like we do our bit for King and Kingdom.
It's really hard at times like these to fight the idea that God is somehow punishing us for something we've done. Despite all the efforts of my Pastor to hammer the idea of God's Grace and unconditional love into my thick head, sometimes I still revert back to old ways of thinking.
All the while my Boss is talking to me, I feel God saying "Do you trust me?" and I'm thinking "of course, I trust you!" But the question just kept getting repeated in my head "Do you trust me?"
Now I'm trying to figure out if God is telling to stay put and not go sending out my resume to virtually everyone I can think of. I mean, there is trusting God, and then there is walking out in front of bus saying "I'm trusting you, God." I've been given a clear warning. Things could be very bad for us by the end of February. Is it 'trusting God' to just sit back and wait to see what He is going to do? Or is it 'trusting God' to send out my resume and trust that he'll find me a soft landing spot.
She still hasn't found work yet, but we are looking at having to Home School so she's only looking for something that would last until Summer is over and we start Home Schooling.
But today, 2010 took another turn for the worse. The co-Owner of my company brought me into his office and let me know that the company is struggling. We lost our biggest account last year, and their contract was up at the end of 2009. January was our first month without them and it showed as the company lost a lot of money.
Back in June of 2009 He had told me that we were losing the account and that we had 6 months to replace that income. Over those 6 months we picked up 3 new customers, and I thought they had said those 3 customers would provide enough income to cover our expenses for 2010. But they just aren't paying enough yet. Back then he told me that he didn't want me to start looking for a new job, but he would understand if I did. I prayed about it and really got the sense that God wanted me to stay right where I was. It was different things. Something said in the sermon one week, something in my daily devotional magazine another. So I didn't even start looking.
Today, the co-Owner told me that he thought I should start looking for a new job. He wasn't laying me off, but they might only be able to keep me on another 2 to 3 weeks. He said that if he was me, I would want him to tell me. The co-Owner really tries to treat his people good. He also told me that if they had to lay me off, I'd be one of the first people they would want to bring back.
The other co-Owner for our Company is going to be going to our 3 accounts and try to renegotiate our contracts to get more money. He also has the option of tapping his personal funds to get the business going until we can get the bonuses the contracts call for. We work different from most consulting shops. We get very small fix fees but get paid bonuses when our customers see results. We don't get paid until our customers have actual bottom line results from our work. Crazy notion, I know.
I'm having a hard time dealing with this. My wife and I tithe. We support other ministries beyond our tithe, and we volunteer our time to help out in various places in the Church. I thought that meant we would be spared having to go through something like this. I feel like we do our bit for King and Kingdom.
It's really hard at times like these to fight the idea that God is somehow punishing us for something we've done. Despite all the efforts of my Pastor to hammer the idea of God's Grace and unconditional love into my thick head, sometimes I still revert back to old ways of thinking.
All the while my Boss is talking to me, I feel God saying "Do you trust me?" and I'm thinking "of course, I trust you!" But the question just kept getting repeated in my head "Do you trust me?"
Now I'm trying to figure out if God is telling to stay put and not go sending out my resume to virtually everyone I can think of. I mean, there is trusting God, and then there is walking out in front of bus saying "I'm trusting you, God." I've been given a clear warning. Things could be very bad for us by the end of February. Is it 'trusting God' to just sit back and wait to see what He is going to do? Or is it 'trusting God' to send out my resume and trust that he'll find me a soft landing spot.
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