The Technician

We are about a month from the NFL draft. One of the positions you'll hear guys talking about it Offensive Linemen. Some guys are maulers, and some guys are Technicians. Technicians usually refer to players with lesser athletic skills. They make up for this by being very good at the procedures of being an offensive lineman. They know where to put their hands, and their feet to handle pass rushers who might be more athletic than they are.

In many ways, I feel that's where I am right now with my walk with Christ. I'm a Technician. I know what to do, what to say, and how to do it. I'm even good at it. But I don't feel like I have this just welling up naturally from within me. It's odd to compare athletic talent to your Christian walk. No one is a naturally talented Christian, but I feel like it comes more naturally, more genuinely and more authentically to others I know. They have a faith that's got a genuineness, a reality, to it that I feel like I lack. I work at it, and I'm good at it, but I'm not sure how real it is. I feel like the 5 foolish virgins in the parable of the 10 virgins. I'm borrowing the oil from the people I see. I see what they do and I imitate it. They tell me what they think about it, and I know my thought life rarely goes to those issues. I know we aren't supposed to compare ourselves to others, but they seem to have something I lack.


I'm a Programmer by trade and by nature. I work well with rules, and I love that the systems I design and write always obey their rules. If....Then is a very natural way for me to think. If I read the Bible, give of my time and money, pray, then I'm a good Christian. Sometimes, I feel like there's got to be more to it than that. Some sort of mystical, emotional component to this whole thing that I'm missing, that my analytical, scientific, solve the problem brain just can't quite wrap itself around. I'm not good with being led by feelings, or emotions. I always question it. A layer of Rules I can deal with far better.

During my college years, I walked away from the Faith, renounced God as a myth, and told him I wanted nothing to do with him. For a long time I wondered if I had committed an unpardonable sin, but wise people have counseled me and today I know I've been forgiven. But I wonder sometimes.if my lack of authenticity isn't part of the consequence of those days.

Thanks for listening today.

Testing the Lord

In Exodus 1-7 the nation of Israel is asking "Is the Lord going to take care of us or not?" God says that asking that question is testing him, and that's not an area we've been told to test him in. The only area we are test the Lord in is in the area of Tithing. He says "test me in this". But as Jesus was being tempted by Satan, he said clearly 'do not test the Lord thy God'. So asking the question is considered sin, because it shows a lack of faith in God's word. He will take care of us.

It doesn't mean we won't ever miss a meal. I don't know of anyone who could claim to be more spiritual than the Apostle Paul, yet even Paul said he 'knew what it was to be hungry'. But he wasn't destroyed by his hunger. Sometimes God uses our desperate hours to draw us closer to him. That's part of what I feel like has happened as my job situation went from good to bad and back to good in the space of month. I had a desperation to my prayer life that wasn't there before and that frankly I can't quite replicate now that I've gotten the job offer. I felt like it brought me closer to Him. I hope I can find a way to get that closeness back, and hopefully without it requiring me to fear for my livelihood again.

I Love You Man!

I have to admit being a little down today. This morning I learned that my favorite NFL football team, the Carolina Panthers, has released one of my favorite players, Quarterback Jake Delhomme.

I've been accused in the past by friends of having something of a 'man-crush' on Jake and that's not too far from the truth. I love the way he played the game. He had a fire and a child like enthusiasm for the game. I called him a poor man's Brett Favre. And like Brett Farve, Jake had a propensity to throw the ball to the wrong color jersey, and it was ultimately his undoing.


I actually met Jake Delhomme in Charleston the summer after he signed. At the time, he was the backup to Quarterback Rodney Peete. The Panthers sent a half dozen players to Charleston for a meet and greet. I got to talk to him about training camp in the Spartanburg heat and how he was getting adjusted to life in Charlotte.

Jake was a just a down to earth guy. He wasn't the most physically gifted guy ever to play Quarterback, but he had a great attitude and always gave you 110%. You always knew Jake would do whatever it took to win. He never got  caught up in the celebrity of being an NFL quarterback. When the team had success he was quick to praise others and when the team struggled he was quick to point out only his own mistakes and short comings.

I'll never forget the run the Panthers had in 2003. Jake came off the bench in Week 1 to lead the first of what would become his trademark come-from-behind victories. He had 3 pics that day too, but the Panthers won on a last second pass to Ricky Proehl. It was the year they became the Cardiac Cats winning games late and they rode that all the way to the Super Bowl where they gave Brady, Belicheck and the New England Patriots all they could handle. But intimately ,the Patriots won that Super Bowl. Still it was a fantastic year.

There would be a couple more playoff runs and more exciting games like Week 1 in 2008 when Jake completed a pass to Donte Rosario as time expired to beat the Chargers. Even in 2009 when he was struggling, there were still moments. I don't remember which game it was but it was late and the Panthers were hanging on to a small lead. They just needed a first down to get to win. Jake surveyed the field and didn't see anyone open so he tucked the ball and started to run. He got hit about a yard short, but he willed himself to keep going and spun around to pick up the first down and the Panther victory.

He had a good run, it was fun, and the Panthers were lucky to have him. I wish him well in the future, whether he continues to pursue a career in the National Football League or in some other area of his life.

Hey, Jake, I love you, man!!!